I've got some Bones to pick

...see what I did there?

Now, I'm a fan of Bones. The mystery, the science, the sexual tension between the brainy gal and the hunky guy (it could totally happen), and of course the LOLs. Plus, I'm a late convert (I couldn't get over my David Boreanaz = Angel 4eva!!1!!11 fixation for a while), so the formula hasn't started to bug.

HOWEVER. There's always a 'however,' amirite?

The one thing that constantly sticks in my craw is how stone cold the killers always are. The first time Bones and Booth question the killer, inevitably he or she seems like a totally normal person who is not shifty or sweating or, I don't know, already halfway to Paraguay, bitches! Spoilers for last week's episode follow. (Can they still be called spoilers? Catch up on your Hulu queue and quit whining!)

Por ejemplo, this week the killer was a "chocolate engineer" who shoved his lying girlfriend into a vat of chocolate that was to become the World's Largest Chocolate Bar. He then proceeded to stick around for the ceremonial unveiling and cutting of said chocolate bar, upon which her putrefied corpse was discovered (yum!). And then, when the FBI came snooping around he was nothing but helpful, going so far as to provide the personnel file that eventually cracked the case.

Already I can think of several ways he could have been a better murderer. Maybe he couldn't have planned it any better - it was a crime of passion kind of thing, I get that - but you gotta follow through. Like, I don't know, pull the damn body out of the chocolate! And if you don't, leave town! And if you can't, do whatever you have to do to impede the investigation until you can! C'mon, guy, show some initiative.

Obviously, I'm not mad at the character. He's going to spend the rest of his life in prison and is also imaginary. I am a little disappointed with the writers of the show, cause this is not a one-time thing. More like an every-time thing. I realize it's tough to come up with plots week after week after six seasons of weeks. But completely neglecting the psychological impact that murder has on a person (while having a psychologist as one of your main characters/plot drivers) is just. Plain. LAZY.

Nevertheless, it's still an enjoyable hour of television. I will continue to watch the show and allow it its foibles. Also, Mr. Nigel-Murray is totally my type (British and slightly anemic).

Ryan Cartwright, CALL ME!