Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Sing it, Tyra.

America's Next Top Model is one of my (many) guilty pleasures. I'm not really sure what it is: the bitchy clueless models, the ridiculous and yet fabulous photo shoots, the behind-the-scenes-fake insight into the fashion world, Mr. Jay....but you don't see Tyra Banks on this list, do you?

The woman is undeniably gorgeous, but also kind of crazy. Certainly a bit self-obsessed. But you can't accuse her of pulling punches, or not telling it like it is. And sometimes, you just really need someone to lay the truth on one those wanna be models. And boy, did Tyra lay down some hard truth last week.

Let me set the scene: Alexandria is a control freak who is universally hated by the other girls on the show. Unfortunately for them, she is also one of the strongest competitors. I've never really found her as heinous as some other people, mostly because I can relate to her controlling tendencies and I always take reality television editing with a grain of salt.

Now, Brittani, who is also one of the top contenders for this year's prize, has apparently been leading the "I hate Alexandria" wagon train. In the girls' most recent photo challenge, Alexandria was the winner and got the prize of a new car. A Ford, but still. Free car. Brittani decided to let loose with a tirade on the set sidelines about how the judge (Nigel Barker) had picked the wrong woman, Alexandria was a terrible role model for Ford's campaign to aid breast cancer research, blah blah I'm a jealous bitch rant.

Alas, she chose a poor moment to rail on Alexandria, who managed to stay calm through the whole encounter, because judge Nigel was standing right there and saw the whole thing. He didn't say anything about it at the time, but he awesomely called Brittani out at panel for her horrible behavior. Pointing out that not only did he hear her rant, but the client (i.e. Ford) heard it too.

And then Tyra, sweet Tyra. She called out Brittani for being unprofessional, a terrible role model herself, and a bad model for not just shutting the hell up and doing her job. And I cheered. Literally, sat up on the couch and cheered for Miss. Tyra Banks. Brittani of course had a "panic attack" and had to leave the stage, but really it was just a temper tantrum. When she returned to the set, Tyra upbraided her again and almost eliminated her ass. The only reason she wasn't eliminated was because the other judges outvoted Tyra.

You guys, this might be my second favorite Tyra moment of all time. The first is, of course, when Tyra screamed at poor Tiffany for not being upset enough when she was eliminated way back in cycle 4. If you want to read the whole transcript of the tyrant, you can find it here courtesy of TWOP, but here's a taste:


I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT A GIRL LIKE THIS! WHEN MY MOTHER YELLS LIKE THIS IT'S BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME! I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU! WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU! HOW DARE YOU! LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS!

Pure poetry, people.

So here's hoping Tyra keeps it up and goes more for tough love and less crazy. Because 16 cycles or so in, this show still has enough bitchery, sequins, stilettos, and homosexuals to keep me interested.

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