You Lost Me at "Kitsune"

SORRY about the horrible delay in getting the Lost Girl finale recap posted. I know you've all moved on to Orphan Black by now (and if you haven't, you should do so posthaste). But, OMG but you guys! You guys!! You. Guys. Lost Girl has been picked up by Syfy for another season, and it will return in 2014!!!

So, let's get down to it.  Lost Girl has baffled me for most of this season. Bo nearly devolved into Under Fae and then she went through The Dawning, which on the whole, was rather underwhelming. Dyson volunteered to go in as her second and then he died but then Bo sucked out some chi from the Scooby Gang and gave it to Dyson and then he was no longer dead. Then Bo and Kenzi defeated a group of suburban moms who decided to be witches in addition to their weekly book club and yoga meetings (I just assumed witchcraft is common among suburbanite ladies). Before that, the Scooby Gang ran into a sorority full of Japanese fox demons. It turned out that that nasty rash Kenzi picked up at The Norn's digs allowed her kitsune twin to kidnap her and turn her into a rabid, snarling bitch. Then she got Bo locked in a cage. Then she tried to rape Dyson.

I'm Naruto??

Kenzi hasn't been around much most of this season and in the final two episodes, some totally racist Death Eater level Faes make it uber clear to Kenz that she's not wanted in the Fae world because she's human. It's like the writers all decided that Kenzi was more interesting and less whiny than Bo's girlfriend Lauren and so they pushed her to the side. For that matter, most of the interesting supporting characters are MIA this season. Kenzi hasn't been around that much; Vex, who is hilarious, has shown up about twice (and he went completely batshit and not in a fun way) and even The Morrigan has only been in two or three episodes. Dyson's former police partner Hale, who was elected Acting Ash,  has also been relegated to a minor role. Who did we get instead? The snoozefest that is Lauren. She left Fae-town a few episodes ago but you knew she would be back because she left in company with Isaac, who seemed interesting at first, then vaguely evil, then creepy and then you Solemnly Swore He was Up to No Good. 

And whatever. I'm sure we'd all rather see Bo with Dyson anyway. I get that there's probably a contingent of Lost Girl fans who like seeing a legit LGBT relationship taken seriously on teevee, but OMG Lauren is so awful. Like. She's just so, so awful. I feel like they tried this season to make her more likable and interesting, but now she's done gone gotten herself mixed up with this craycray Isaac, who's trying to do away with all the the Fae. 

Dude. What?

The Morrigan's peeps kidnapped Trick and threw him in the trunk of a car. I guess that was meant to be ominous, but since Trick is so short, it was actually pretty comical. The Morrigan tried to take over The Ash seat from Hale and denounced him as a human-lover. Which to be fair, is a legit concern. Hale is way in love with Kenzi (Fae on human? kinky) and I hope the relationship grows into next season and we actually get to see them do sex.  

Sadly, if the season finale is any indication, it looks like our girl Tamsin is on her way out. Tamsin is one of the most interesting characters on the show, and Rachel Skarsten is one of the better actors, so I was hoping they would keep her around and nix Lauren, but nay. Tamsin has been secretly working for a shady individual, The Wanderer, whom most Lost Girl-ites guessed about five episodes ago was Bo's father.  Tamsin's instructions are to weaken Bo and deliver her to The Wanderer, which she is super conflicted about since she is into Bo. So, since Tamsin was trying some Uber Bad Ass Dark Fae BS on the Light Fae PrincessHero, she might as well just kiss her sweet lil ass goodbye. Also, she's a super old Valkyrie and has some kind of Valkyrie-itis and so she's dying. Thanks.

I think my part's mostly filler.

I'm sure there's no way supergenius Fae healer Lauren could find a way to set aside her uselessness and passive aggressive bitchiness and find a way to help Tamsin out of her Valkyrie-itis, but we'll see what the writers have up their sleeves for Season 4.

Anyway, back to the plot. We learned that Isaac is an evil not-even-genius in the episode previous to the finale. Dr. Girlfriend Lauren dumped Bo and then took off with Isaac, bowing to his pressuring her to take a job with his company. She thought she would be safe leaving the Fae world (or so she thinks), even though she was warned that if she leaves Light Fae protection, the Dark Fae will try to kill her. That doesn't make a whole lotta sense to me. Obviously, Lauren knows more about Fae physiology than anyone else in the Fae world, and you'd think that the Dark Fae would want to keep her around. But whatever, So, Lauren leaves, but she discovers that Isaac has been experimenting on the Fae. He won't let her leave and it's not like she can call Bo because Lauren left all of her crap, INCLUDING HER EFFING PHONE, at her apartment when she went off with Isaac. 

Isaac, of course, has an Evil Secret Semi-Underground Lab that looks very much like an observatory. I'd love to be the location scout for this show. Like I'm pretty sure every filming site is on the main Toronto subway lines. He's keeping all of the Fae -- including Bo's succumom Aife -- and giant refrigerators, which are standard-issue to evil-doers everywhere. He's got Lauren working on a technique to splice human DNA with Fae DNA to create a Fae/human hybrid. 

This might sting a bit.

Isaac's girlhood dream was to be Fae. Apparently, the Fae attacked his brother and killed him and whiny bitch that he is, Isaac decided to spend the rest of his life plotting revenge upon the Fae. Cry me a river. Hence stalking Lauren. He's been kidnapping the Fae, keeping them in refrigerated isolation booths and then making him fight each other until he found the strongest among them. The strongest among them turns out to be Dyson (natch), and Isaac has some creepy ho-yay/Single White Werewolf thing for Dyson and wants Lauren to remove stem cells from Dyson and implant them into Isaac, which will of course kill Dyson to death. I'm not sure about the scientific accuracy here, but I'm pretty sure a stem cell transplant doesn't involve the unavoidable death of a the donor. Since, you know, most stem cells live in petri dishes or vats of culture medium. Anyway, I'm watching a show that claims fairies and water sprites are real, so if I'm concerned about the scientific validity of Lauren's Evil Secret Lab experiments, I guess maybe I should take up a hobby. 

You've escaped ho-yay on this show for far too long, Dyson. Far too long.

So, Bo figures out where Lauren is and she and Tamsin make their way to the Evil Secret Lab. They get caught by the guards and Tamsin gets her ass shot. Bo and Tamsin are put in a fridge and Bo works out A Plan. 

Bo supergirls her way out of her refrigerator and then frees all the other confined Fae. Aife jumps in front of a bullet to save Bo and that's all really noble and whatnot, but let's not forget that she is FUCKING DARK FAE and all she has to do to heal is suck out someone's chi. So, what does Bo do but SHE LEAVES HER ALONE WITH SOMEONE WHOSE CHI SHE CAN STEAL. Like, did it occur to ANYONE that that's NOT A GOOD IDEA?? Like. What the fuck?

Lauren goes ahead with the procedure, but not before she can tell Bo that she's all jealous of Dyson. Instead of using Dyson's stem cells, she splices Isaac's DNA with some other Fae DNA that makes him behave as though he has Bell's palsy. Dyson chases him into the woods, turns into a wolf and Isaac shits his britches. And that's the last we see of Isaac. So, that whole climax more than a little underwhelming, especially considering the hundreds of Fae that Isaac killed over the course of his little experiments.

Lauren could have done all manner of things to this tool. She could have mixed his human genes with any number of craycray Fae. Since she knew how to slow down The Dawning in Bo's case, you'd think she could use that knowledge to turn him Fae and turn on a gene to make his Dawning happen super fast. Then he would have been Under Fae and they could have kept him in a cage and fed him catnip and Whisker Lickins. See, that would have been an arc.

Lauren sort of disappears while the Scooby Gang rescues everyone, so her position in the Fae community and her standing with Bo are left up in the air. Tamsin disappears during this episode, too, so I'm unsure what happened to her as a result of all this world savin'. 

But let's not forget that Isaac was not the main villain of this season. Nope, that's The Wanderer, who wants Bo in his clutches, since Daddy misses his Little Girl. After the dust settles, Bo heads back to Trick's bar and "The Wanderer" plays on the jukebox. The Tarot card makes its appearance again, and Bo picks it up. She wonders aloud who he is and what he wants, and then she gets turned into a cloud of black smoke and disappears, leaving behind The Tarot card in her place. Cliffhanger!! What will happen to Bo? Will Mary be on her right? Will Bo accept her new stepmom, Runaround Sue? 

Lost Girl has been green-lighted for another season by the Canadian company that produces it. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE bring Tamsin back for another season! 

Episodes from this season of Lost Girl are available On Demand. Previous seasons are on Netflix.